Windows To The Soul

Windows To The Soul

Arriving in America in 1995, my first few years here were marked by culture shock and surprise.  

I grew up very family oriented and always relied on the wisdom of my elders to guide me and advise me. A great amount of respect was always shown to them. Part of our culture in my native Mexico, is keeping a family together until the time of marriage. It was confusing to me that the young adults I was encountering in their late teens and early twenties were living on their own and not answering to their parents. Mexican culture is very different in the way we view our children as well as in the way we view men and women. 

Maybe my strict Catholic upbringing and cultural concepts of the roles of female and male were shaped in Mexico, but once I was introduced to a broader picture of the American way of life, I developed a better understanding of the freedom of choice. I have since become fascinated by other cultures–their belief systems and the women who live within them. American women are so confident and empowered because they have the right to choose whichever path they want to take in life. There are still some cultures whose general belief systems do not allow for such grand plans. Their lives are stifled from the moment they are born, by cultural norms that do not see them as an equal to the males in their society. My current passion project has drawn me toward shining light on the women who thrive in any sort of environment. With my camera documenting each interaction, I am capturing the glimmers of hope, inner strength, and beauty that flash inside the eyes of women who dwell within somewhat restrictive borders. 

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Paola | Occupation: Ballerina | Guadalajara, Jal.

“MY ENTIRE GOAL IS TO INVOKE AN EMOTION AND TO TELL A STORY WITH A SINGLE SHOT.”

In 1995, after getting my first paycheck here in America, the first thing I recall buying was a 35mm camera. I had always wanted one yet had no idea how to use it. I had to learn everything, exposure, technical aspects, lighting, but really what I discovered is that the most important thing to develop is your eye. Artistic pursuits set aside; I knew it was time to pursue higher education. 

My college path started from my love of geometry. I thought since I loved math, I should get an accounting degree. I graduated in 2007 with that degree, but soon found out crunching numbers was not for me. After working in risk management for four years, I decided to start a website. It took all my savings to hire a developer to create it for me. Once he stopped working on it, I was left with an unfinished product and no money. Rolling my sleeves up and diving in, I learned how to design and code on the fly. Luckily, the skills came easily, and soon, I was able to launch my own web design agency.

As a digital agency, clients often have a need for photos and videos, most of that work is done by my production team in Guadalajara, Mexico. This past year, I decided it was time to get back behind the lens myself. I took some time down in Mexico to collaborate with a few Instagram followers on a series of portraits. These photos are meant to depict these women as the strong, independent beings they are. I had a painter, musician, chef, and an actress pose in pure, natural movements meant to capture their true essence. I wanted to show the tenacity of survival in their eyes. I see it as a challenge. 

How do I show their whole story through their eyes? My entire goal is to invoke an emotion and to tell a story with a single shot. Mexican Beauty 2.0 photo sessions are already booked, but before returning to my home country, I will venture to Pakistan to do photos of women there.

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Carolina | Occupation: Model | Guadalajara, Jal.

“PHOTOGRAPHY IS MEANT TO PROVOKE, AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO. I WANT TO HELP STRIP DOWN THE CULTURE. BY GETTING A TRUE GLIMPSE AT THE WOMEN WHO LIVE WITHIN IT, MAYBE A REALIZATION WILL OCCUR.”

“I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING INFLUENCING MY CREATIVITY WITH THESE PORTRAITS, JUST MY PASSION FOR TELLING STORY THROUGH EACH OF THEM.”
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Salma | Occupation: DJ | Guadalajara, Jal.

I’ve been asked, “Why would you choose such a place to do a photo shoot of women?” Pakistan culture is rather hard on women; they are judged harshly and adhere to pretty strict rules of what is right and wrong. I have a dear friend who immigrated here from Pakistan, and through her exposure to Western culture, she is realizing that the way women are treated in her former country is wrong. Photography is meant to provoke, and that is exactly what I am trying to do. I want to help strip down the culture. By getting a true glimpse at the women who live within it, maybe a realization will occur. There is life inside those eyes just waiting to fully blossom. How is a woman to develop her own identity if she is subjected to being told what to do and how to be?

Culture is important, but having the freedom to choose and decide what you want out of life is something these women must fight for. That fight and the struggle to “become” is what I am portraying in my photos. I’m trying to illustrate hope. It doesn’t matter where you are from or what you’ve been through, when I hit the button on that camera, I want it all to pour out. And in the next instance, I want that photo to convey the strength and intention to move forward.  

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Sabina | Hospitality: DJ | Guadalajara, Jal.

 

“I DON’T HAVE ANYTHING INFLUENCING MY CREATIVITY WITH THESE PORTRAITS, JUST MY PASSION FOR TELLING A STORY THROUGH EACH OF THEM.”

I hire my own crew to do these photo shoots. This isn’t about money; it’s the moment I feel most complete and fulfilled. I do it because life is supposed to be fun. If you are creating art because you have to feed your family, you might have to cater to what sells best. I don’t have anything influencing my creativity with these portraits, just my passion for telling a story through each of them. In that way, I am very much like my biggest influence–the great artist Caravaggio.

This introspective will hopefully become an exhibition one day, touring various galleries for all to see. In the interim, coffee table books are in the works as well as art prints for sale. COVID-19 has set me back in my aspirations; I expected to have more locations covered by now. My family and I are used to traveling extensively, and there will be time for further exploration later. My wife, Autumn, and son, Domenico, are my world right now.

Photos By Hafid Ayllón
@hafidayllonphotography

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Carolina | Occupation: Model | Guadalajara, Jal.

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