ARTS A Drive into the Ditch and Long Lives the King Richard reviews two shows, the debut of fox’s low-quality high-speed racing show, “Drive,” and the swan song of CBS’s hi-quality comedy, “The King of Queens.” May 2007

Richard Koscher

As a kid I was a fan of movies like Cannonball Run and have always admired the panache that often went into shows belonging to that genre, so I had high expectations for the new Fox show Drive and was willing for it to be great, and to enjoy it, at least as one of my guilty pleasures. But I am sad to report that from its very first episode Drive drove right off the road.

Let the Race die

Drive is an action-fueled drama following a diverse group of Americans who are competing for their lives (or, in some cases, for the lives of their loved ones) in an illegal, underground, cross-country road race. Some of them have been coerced into joining The Race, others have sought out The Race themselves, hearing rumors of the $32-million prize. Each competitor has a reason why they must win.

The show munges the theme of a maverick driving race together with the theme of desperate competition borrowed from Michael Douglas’ white-knuckle movie, The Game. Drive simply fails to deliver on its premise. The race itself, with cars bouncing off each other, and hirsute truckers helping drivers in trouble fails to impress in this day of off-the-meter special effects.

Drive got off to a rather cheesy start. The back-stories of the characters are simply unbelievable. One father, for example, pulls his daughter out of school and drives her to Key West, but doesn’t tell her until after the first meeting — the “orientation” — about his plans to compete.

There’s no explanation of how the girl could have possibly not twigged what daddy intended to do from the meeting.

Another scene that didn’t work was when one desperate husband, Alex, slams a man’s head on the table demanding to know where his wife is. The guy gets up looking as though getting his head slammed 10 times in a row wouldn’t mess up the part in his hair, and tells Alex that he won’t reveal the wife’s location unless Alex wins the race. Who can suspend disbelief far enough to accept a scene like that? I’m not a violent person, but in that situation I would have snapped the guy’s little finger and then repeated the demand. What husband in that situation wouldn’t take the discussion “to the next level” in order to get the answer right away.

Melanie Lynskey, who plays Wendy Patrakas, is the best thing in Drive. She’s a new mother who is on the run from her husband and competing for the safety of her newborn baby. As in Two and a Half Men and Flags of our Fathers Lynskey again proves once more she can actually act. She is funny, witty, and plays her character with warmth and heart.

But for the rest, I am sorry to report that you should pass Drive by unless you don’t have anything else to watch on TV and the laundry is already done.

Long live the King

The blue-collar comedy King of Queens is starting its ninth and final season, and is still making people laugh. This show never fails to amuse me. CBS will air the show’s 200th episode on April 9th, which will be the first of seven final episodes.

The 200th anniversary episode, titled “Home Cheapo,” delivers top-notch humor. Doug & Carrie let jealousy get the best of them after their friends Deacon & Kelly buy a weekend home by the lake.

They discover their friends had saved enough money to make the purchase. When she gets that news Carrie says that they were able to afford it because they were so cheap.

Since its first airing on September 22, 1998, the Kings of Queens provided viewers constant laughs, great writing, and excellent acting.

Here’s an interesting piece of trivia about the show: The role of Doug is played by Kevin James. Actor Danny Heffernan, who plays Doug’s cousin on the show, is Kevin’s real life brother. Here’s one more zinger. When Doug is in pain he yelps “Yuspa!” The word comes from Cathy Yuspa who was a producer on the show.

I rank King of Queens alongside Seinfeld and Friends as one of the giants of comedy.

If you are a fan, don’t miss May 14 when Doug, Carrie, and Arthur take their final bows in the CBS series finale. It will be a poignant evening for some of us, even though I’m sure it will be full of great laughs!

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