I Was Just Thinking Happy Valentine’s Day February 2007

by Dr. Don Huntington

If You Hear That a Thousand People Love You remember… saavedra is among them …
AND when you see no one else around you,
and you find out
that no one loves you anymore,
then you will know for certain
that… saavedra is dead
Guadalupe de Saavedra

The beautiful poem in this month’s quote makes me think of my wife. Rae and I have been husband and wife since Richard Nixon’s Presidency. People were still alive who had fought as soldiers in the Civil War when we were married.

I remember once looking at some old, grainy movies of our wedding day. I saw again how beautiful Rae was then. I recalled how love, admiration, and desire for her were overflowing my heart that day. Those ancient passions are now with me again whenever I think of her.

Many times I find myself really “seeing” Rae – noticing how laughter lights up her eyes; how her features soften when she is thoughtful; how childlike is her delight when she blows her beloved bubbles… These things are like gifts. They have been available for decades but I keep growing into the kind of man who can receive them.

Sometimes little things provide the greatest joy in a relationship. How often do Rae and I share something together that makes us both throw our heads back and laugh out loud! This shared spontaneous laughter provides some of the cohesion that keeps the two of us bound together.

Eric Jong once wrote,

“I know some good marriages – marriages where both people are just trying to get through their days by helping each other, being good to each other.”

Rae and I have one of the “good marriages” that Jong spoke about. My marriage is actually more wonderful than the ones Jong describes – mainly because I’m married to a wonderful person. I’m shifting and variable, but Rae is a rock. For example, she does a fantastic job of keeping track of our finances (while I, on the other hand, can’t even remember what happened to the $60 I had in my pocket three days ago).

I don’t have enough space to list all the things I could say in praise of my beloved wife:

• Rae keeps our house perfectly – by which I mean permitting exactly the right amount of clutter.
• She is a servant in her church.
• She is a morally upright person who doesn’t demand righteousness of the people around her.
• She is a painstakingly detailed lead copy-editor and bookkeeper for our 110° Magazine, and record-keeper for our lives.
• She loves to surprise people by blowing her beloved soap bubbles at unexpected times.
  (The laughter that sparkles in her eyes as she watches her bubbles is the most perfect expression of the joy of living I ever saw.)
• She is one of the least harmful, most unreflectingly humble people I know.
• She is a blessing to her husband and to her children.

Someone made the comment, “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” I have learned to “fall in love” with my wife over and over again. I feel that I’m finally at the place where my love for this wonderful person is constant and unvarying. She is what I want. She is what I need. Our shared love is deep and abiding.

An ancient proverb describes a faithful wife, and quotes the praise of her husband: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” That’s exactly the praise I want to pronounce concerning my wife.

Her life is full of people who love her. She constantly reaps the reward of her continual devotion to God; she is the very image of the Old Testament virtuous wife: “Her children rise up and call her blessed.”

I’m possessed of a weak and vacillating nature, but nevertheless if Rae ever hears that no one loves her anymore then she will know, as the poem says, that I am dead. She can be as confident of my love as she is confident of the faithfulness of God.

I love you, Rae! Happy Valentine’s Day, my beloved! °

Dr. Don Huntington
Editorial Director
don@110mag.com