Arts [ Fiction ] The Perfect Husband February 2007

by Laura DeLaCruz

The periwinkle silk tie brought out the blue in his eyes. He was hitting his peak professionally and the last three years he had spent working out had done wonders for his appearance.

When Matthew came home and told Eve that he wanted a divorce it should have been the best day of his life, but it didn’t go quite as well as he expected. How was he to know that she had just been dumped by the tanned and well muscled other who had prompted his decision in the first place.

He had planned the entire scenario in his mind more than a dozen times on his way home from the dealership. He would come home, sit her down at the large farm style table they had picked up at an upscale antiques dealer in Napa, and tell her that although he still loved her, he refused to live with an adulteress.

If he was honest with himself, Matthew had to admit that he had been fairly unhappy long before he found out about the recent affair; and since his flirtations with the Rubenesque young teller at his bank had evolved into an exchange of numbers, he had accepted the fact that his marriage was destined to fail. Maybe if this had been the first time he had caught Eve cheating he could have forgiven her, but it wasn’t.

On a sweltering Tuesday night the prior summer he had left the gym early due to a pulled muscle. He had come home to find Eve’s 500SL missing from its usual spot in the garage. She arrived over 45 minutes later talking on her cell phone. She must not have realized he was home because she didn’t lower her voice as she walked through the living room. As soon as he heard her give a little moan and say, “No, you were unbelievable tonight,” he ducked into their bedroom, threw himself on the bed, and closed his eyes.

He heard her heels clicking on the wood floor heading down the hallway towards him and made out something like “Baby, I have to go. I need to shower before Matt gets home. I know! My lips love you too!” She made a few breathy hmmm sounds before saying goodbye and entered the bedroom. Matthew started snoring softly and didn’t stop when he heard her gasp at the sight of him. She headed toward the bed slowly.

“Honey,” she whispered. He kept snoring steadily so she would think he was deep in sleep. She nudged him gently and he jerked.

“What, huh?” She smiled at him and he smiled back, “Oh, hey, I must have fallen asleep. Where were you?” She stroked his face.

“I was killing some time at the bookstore. How come you’re home so early?” He couldn’t believe how easily the lie rolled off her tainted tongue.

“I pulled a muscle at the gym and decided to come home and take it easy. I didn’t hear you come in.” She leaned over, kissing him lightly on the lips and he breathed in the musky smell mixing with her perfume.

“Did you change your perfume?” he asked innocently.

She stiffened slightly, “Yes, it’s the new Calvin Klein. It’s unisex, do you like it?”

“Not particularly,” he said honestly.

“I wasn’t sure about it myself. I was about to take a shower anyway. I’m sticky from the heat I’m sure.”

I’m sure, he thought. “Okay,” he said. He wanted her to get into the shower so he could check her cell phone. No sense having any doubts.

His calm response to the revelation that his wife was cheating on him was indicative of where their relationship had gone. He found himself less upset and more curious as to why she did it and whom she had chosen. He was fairly insulted when he found out the name belonged to a business associate of hers whose party they had attended the prior Christmas.

Here he was a fit 40 year old with most of his hair and whitened teeth, and she was giving it up to Walter, a short, portly twenty-something with bad skin and even worse jokes. He understood the guy’s intrigue with Eve. Although the lines around her mouth belied her true age, she was still an attractive brunette with strikingly green eyes and a naturally sporty figure.

Matthew had no idea if Eve had already been cheating on him at the time of the Christmas party. It was late June before he found out Walter was more than a business associate and having never been a cheater, he didn’t know how long it would take before a person started calling someone baby and gushing about loving lips.

Eve must have gotten nervous when she nearly got caught that summer because he witnessed no indication that she was still engaged in the affair after the night of the revealing cell phone conversation. His suspicions were confirmed when she made a disgusted face at the suggestion of attending Walter’s upcoming annual holiday party.

“So,” he had mentioned casually, “it’s almost Christmas. Are we invited to that Dalton guy’s party again?”

“His name is Walter and he turned out to be a real slime ball,” she said in response to his inquiry.

“How so?” he responded blandly.

“He cheated on his wife with the receptionist at our office. I mean, who does he think he is, Don Juan?” She rolled her eyes and made a stabbing motion with the knife she had been using to cut the bread for dinner.

“Why do you care so much?” he asked with a lifted eyebrow.

“I don’t, I just don’t think he should be flaunting his affair in the office. It’s highly unprofessional. I walked in on them playing grab-ass in the break room. It was disgusting.”

“Whatever,” Matthew said nonchalantly. “We can go to the Key’s party instead.” Walter’s name was never mentioned again.

Until one year later on the night Matthew had decided to tell Eve he was leaving. He had made the decision to tell her that their marriage was over while he was in the men’s restroom at his law office.

Before he entered the mahogany and steel stall, he had taken a long look at himself in the mirror. The tailored gray suit and periwinkle silk tie brought out the blue in his eyes and gave a distinguished look to the new haircut his stylist had talked him into. He was hitting his peak professionally and the last three years he had spent working out had done wonders for his appearance.

For a woman who had probably already reached the cusp of her beauty, his wife had made a poor decision focusing her attentions on other men.

Eve was in the middle of putting away the dishes when he walked into the kitchen that evening after work.

“I want a divorce,” he said calmly. She paused for a second before turning away from the cupboard to look at him suspiciously.

“You’re kidding right? You don’t look like you’ve been at the gym. Did you hit happy hour with the boys? Is that why you’re home so late?”

“No, I’m perfectly sober.”

It didn’t take her long to register that he was dead serious. When she started crying and hurling stemware, he realized he probably should have sat her down at the table like he had originally planned instead of telling her while she was holding valuable crystal in her hand.

“Eve, I know about the affairs.” She paused, the crystal champagne flute in her left hand safe for the moment.

“What affairs?” she said, her voice wavering slightly.

“What am I, stupid?” he asked. Realizing as he said it that it was a stupid thing to say. Before she could respond he continued.

“I heard you talking on the phone that night you came home and thought I was sleeping. Remember last summer when I pulled that muscle?” He could tell she was trying to remember and then her eyes widened.

“But, why didn’t you say anything? What kind of man finds out his wife is having an affair and doesn’t say a word?” She burst into tears again.

“I knew it, you never loved me, you don’t care about anything I do, and you don’t even care if I sleep with other men!” The crystal slammed into the fridge next to him as and he shielded himself with his right arm.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “You’re right I guess. I don’t really care. At least not anymore.”

Eve’s tears were coming faster and her face was starting to swell. The wrinkles around her eyes and mouth were magnified by her angry expression.

“Our therapist was right; you are a narcissistic bastard with intimacy issues. No wonder I was driven into the arms of another man.”

“Men,” Matthew corrected. “Walter, and then,” he paused for effect, ‘Nathan, I believe it is?” She hesitated and spoke in a whisper.

“How did you find out about Nathan?”

Matthew watched her carefully.

“Eve, people talk. He works out at my gym and we spotted each other a couple of times. I haven’t seen him around much lately since he was obviously here with you while I was at the gym. Apparently he likes to ‘chat’ with the other personal trainers there.”

Matthew felt a flash of anger and envy at the idea of Eve sleeping with Nathan, the workout guy. He was younger and in much better shape than Walter. He was in better shape than Matthew too.

“Yeah, I guess you are known as that older chick with money around the gym.” Eve’s eyes blazed as she screamed and came towards him. Matthew easily pushed her to the side as he walked out the front door toward his new silver Viper. He pictured the youthful teller sitting beside him in the front seat and pulled out his special-order, titanium-plated cell phone to give her a call. He knew she would be impressed when he picked her up for their first date. How many guys her age could afford a car like this?

He barely heard Eve screaming behind him as the engine rumbled to life. He caught a glimpse of himself in the rearview mirror and admired his new Botox infused brow. The black hair dye gave him a rakish look and he smiled at himself.

“You are a handsome devil!” he said to the reflection. °