I Was Just Thinking Einstein’s Other Formula January 2007

by Dr. Don Huntington

A + B + C = Success
if
A = Hard Work
B = Hard Play
C = Keeping your mouth shut (Albert Einstein)

The third element — the “C” in Einstein’s formula — elevates the expression from the realm of trite aphorism into the heady domain of profound truth. So much of my success in life depends upon my ability to control my tongue! An old proverb says. “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” 

I work hard, as Einstein said I should. I’m thankful that I often have fun playing hard. I’m most grateful that I am sometimes finding the grace to hold my tongue.

Thomas Edison once reportedly offered some wry advice, “You will have many opportunities in life to keep your mouth shut: You should take advantage of every one of them.”

The Stoic philosopher, Cato the Younger, writing in the first century B.C., wrote,

The first virtue is to restrain the tongue; he approaches nearest to the gods who knows how to be silent, even though he is in the right.

Michael Richards would pay a million dollars to anyone who could figure out how to reverse time and give him an opportunity to unsay the disastrous speech that he made. So would Mel Gibson. 

“Keep your words sweet,” a wise man once said. “Because you never know when you might have to eat them later.” I’ve seldom regretted a failure to speak up, though I have often later regretted things that I’ve said.

One of the resources that aids in keeping my words fewer and sweeter these days is the knowledge earned by personal experiences of how damaging my tongue can be.

“Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me,” is a lie we used to chant when I was a child. The fact is, words hurt far worse than any sticks and stones. With their tongues people opened wounds in my soul decades ago that I still carry with me. And I, in turn, have harmed other people with my words — damaging them far beyond the ability of any powers I possess to heal the harm that I inflicted.

The Bible says:

The tongue ... is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

Silence is golden, they say, and it becomes so in more ways than by simply refraining from saying bad things; I am also learning not to always try to say something good or profound or humorous.

I don’t always have to try to make impression. I don’t always have to try to fix something with my mouth.

We should learn the virtue of silence. A pastor told me that he once received a chilling call informing him that an elder in his church killed a child by backing his car over him.

“What are you going to say to him?” his wife asked the pastor as he was getting ready to leave.

“If I have to say anything to him then I’m not going!” he answered.

We comfort each other in times of distress by our hugs and by our tears — not by our words nor by any attempted explanations about the situation. 

My daughter’s little doggie, Roxanne, is one of the most loving and loveable creatures on the planet, I think. She senses when a person is feeling depressed about something and provides solace in her little doggy fashion.

Of course, Roxy manages to communicate her affection and consolations without uttering a single word. Being granted the ability to speak would probably only diminish the effectiveness of her communication.

I’m thankful that I’m doing a little better with my mouth these days. I often let opportunities to criticize pass by. I keep silent sometimes when I am tempted to “speak my mind.” I try to use soothing words — words that will preserve harmony and bring peace.

When I restrain my speech I am not really approaching “nearest to the gods,” as Cato put it. However, during those times of restraint I really do feel that I have managed to do something good in this world. And sometimes, when I am at my best, circumstances are able to make a song of my silence.

Einstein was right. It’s a success to learn to keep my mouth shut. And it feels good! °

Dr. Don Huntington
Editorial Director
don@110mag.com