by Don Huntington, Editorial Director

“Life’s greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved” Victor Hugo

Sometimes I feel that I’m surrounded by a lot of unhappy people. Often the sense of unhappiness is mitigated by the social standard of maintaining a positive face before the world. But once the façade of cheerfulness slips, it is possible to see that beneath the thin exterior there often lies an interior world of desperation, anxiety, and anger. When I stray from behind the psychological and spiritual defenses I have in place, I’m not above that kind of behavior myself.

The rising incidence of road rage is one of many phenomena in our society pointing to an undercurrent of unhappiness that surrounds us. Some people are angry and upset about the way conservative forces control the media in this country – those who are liberals, that is. Otherwise, many of them are angry and upset by the way the forces of liberalism control the media in this country. Some are so angry at President Bush that they can hardly keep from spitting when his name comes up. Others feel the same way about Hillary Clinton. Some NOW women hate right-to-life women. And vice versa. People are mad about the traffic, depressed about the price of gas, or angry at their neighbors. The list goes on and on.

Whenever I have these kinds of feelings, they become like snow poured over a flame. Forces of anger, depression, and rage extinguish the qualities of peace and love that I believe to be the true birthright of us all. My negative emotions and behaviors are, at heart, gut reactions to a world that I feel isn’t giving me the love and support I feel that I need. So I guess Victor Hugo was right. Whenever I begin living like this again I’m missing out on the “greatest happiness” because I’m convinced that I am not loved.

I become part of this problem especially at those times when I’m not doing a good job of loving. Whenever my heart is overflowing with affection and concern for the people around me, then nothing can make me angry and depressed. And during those times I feel that I’m being loved myself. An old proverb says that a man who wants friends must show himself friendly. People tend to love loving people.

Our modern society, however, has taught us in many subtle ways to put ourselves first. Attention has shifted, especially in public schools, from being respectful of others to promoting our own self-esteem. However, all the manifestations of the “look out for number one” principle will diminish our ability to love other people. Our growing culture of self-absorption underlies a great dysfunction that prevents us from embracing the power that love has to change everything.

The word “love” is too weak for our purposes – too capable of being misunderstood. The word “cherish” conveys the quality that Victor Hugo was really speaking about. The dictionary says that cherish means, “to hold dear, feel or show affection for, to keep or cultivate with care and affection.” The cherishing kind of love goes beyond feeling and emotion. It becomes a personal trait. Here is a list of the characteristics belonging to this trait that I’m talking about:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Or, to sum up, the person who truly loves is one who knows how to cherish other people. During those times that I am cherishing other people, I can be absolutely convinced that I am walking in love, since Heaven’s own radiance shines like a spotlight on all of us who are willing simply to walk in love. All that is required of me is to stay in the place of receiving that love and then to incorporate it in my relationships with others. At that point I can naturally live my life in this world so that some people around me can say, “He at least loves me.”

Of course, other people will certainly not believe or accept my love. But that’s their problem. After all, the Master was crucified by people whom He loved absolutely. My only challenge is to constantly shine the light of love sincerely upon the people around me – to give them opportunities to spread open the wings of their soul and catch the warmth of love reflected from me if they will. In that way we all can have moments of sharing together the “greatest happiness.”

Dr. Don Huntington
Editorial Director
don@110mag.com