by Jacqueline Irwin

I’ve been working at 110° – Contra Costa Living Magazine for seven months. Writing this editorial is my newest assignment. Richard Kosher, our Publisher, who normally wrote this page, has been asking me to do this for months. Richy says he wants controversy. He wants me to write something edgy that might make people a little uncomfortable. I’ve been hesitating due to the fact that I’m still a part-time teacher and teachers aren’t allowed to be controversial.

When my book, The Secrets of Seacrest School, was first published and I was about to be interviewed by a newspaper reporter, a fellow teacher suggested I say something controversial. “Controversy sells,” he told me. I could just see me saying something controversial and the next thing I know I’m on the evening news, Larry King Live, or Bill O’Reilly. No thank you.

But believe me, I know controversy. Controversy involves things like the Illegal Immigrant issue, the presidency of George W. Bush, the role of Britney Spears as a mother, traffic problems in Brentwood, and according to Richy’s June editorial, World Cup Soccer.

A good teacher is trained to present both sides of an issue and then let her students decide. Right now the biggest controversy I’m forced to deal with was brought up at the last staff meeting. We needed to add five minutes of instructional time to our day. Should we add it at the beginning of the day or the end? The debating went on for some time and finally our fearless leader took it upon herself to decide. That was a relief. If we could have considered our debate about this issue as instructional time, we wouldn’t have had to change our classroom schedules until sometime next November. So that was one controversy that was plaguing my life. I don’t know if this is the kind of thing Richard is asking for.

Okay, okay. Let’s try another approach. The Donald Huntington Back Page approach. I have a problem with that, however, because that man has incredible faith plus a gift for quoting people. On the other hand, nobody would be very impressed with my faith, and I can’t remember nursery rhymes well enough to quote them.

So I’m going to try this again. It’s back to what I do and what I do best. I like to write about things I observe, or funny things that happen to me during the course of the day. After all, who wouldn’t be charmed by stories of my first grade students who love their teacher?

Try this on for size. My students were sitting on the carpet listening to a story. It was such a nice story about beautiful flowers and springtime. I knew I had their full attention. No one was wiggling. No one was poking their neighbor. No one was playing with the little bits of tan bark that gets carried inside the classroom tucked inside their shoes. All eyes were on the pictures. Sergio’s had shot up. I was certain he had something relevant to say about the story that would lend to better understanding.

“Yes, Sergio.”
“Mrs. Irwin, you have shiny knees.” I completely lost ’em and couldn’t continue the story until everyone had a glimpse of my shiny knees.

See what I mean? No controversy here. Just a story I would like to get into print so that it’s never lost or forgotten.

What about an article about my love of words and observations about my own children? Take for example my son, Jeffrey who said his first word, “Mama,” at four months. It was probably an accident, but he was able to keep saying it. By the time he was 18 months he could speak in full sentences. Once, when he was buckled in his car seat my mom saw in her rearview mirror that his eyelids were drooping. She decided to drive around until he fell asleep. A short time later that 13 month old baby said, “Grammie, I tink we’re lost.” That baby had a comprehension of spatial relationships that my editor still doesn’t have. (Lots of times he doesn’t know where he is.) My mom and I were constantly amazed and amused at the things Jeffrey would say.

Who wouldn’t love charming stories like that?
And one final problem about any attempts by me to stir up controversy is due to my placement in birth order. Studies have shown that the middle child, and especially a girl born second out of three, is programmed to be the problem solver. All throughout my life I have been the peacekeeper in the family. To this day, whenever there is drama in the family it is ingrained in my psyche to fix the situation.

So you see, controversy is out. As much as I love Andy Rooney and his controversial style, it’s just not for me.

Jacqueline Irwin
Associate Editor
jacki@110mag.com