DON'T MAKE ME STOP THIS CAR! How to Travel with Kids Without Going Crazy
	JULY/AUGUST 2005

by Lisa Schall
Illustrations by Mark Thoburn

Hooray! It’s break time; the kids are out of school. No more homework, no more alarm clocks, and most of all no more packing lunches. It is time for a family trip in the van. We are leaving on a holiday that we have been planning all year long. Like so many others, we are off to Disneyland for a whole week of fun.

These trips ought to be times of good fellowship during which family members can grow together in love. However, they can turn into trips in which the bored children and irritated adults drive each other crazy. We love our children, but we can nevertheless, end up screaming things at them like, “If you kids don’t be quiet and start behaving yourselves, we are going to turn this car around and go home.”

I’ve learned from experience that traveling with children doesn’t have to be this way. I’ve developed a number of simple techniques to keep my family outings from turning into unpleasant family disagreements. I’ve discovered and, in some cases, created activities that promote laughter, pleasure, and harmony.

To make this trip more enjoyable for my children, and to keep them from driving my husband, Tom, and me crazy, I learned to prepare some amusements and diversions to help make traveling with my kids more pleasant.

Playing Games
One of the most common ways of diverting children on a long car trip is to play games with them. Here are some of my favorite games to play with your kids in the car.

Alphabet Search
Each person in the car takes turns finding something outside the car that begins with each letter of the alphabet. For example, Dad searches for the letter ‘A’ and finds airport. Mom finds ‘B’ for bus, and so forth, through all the people in the car and all the letters in the alphabet.

     If you have older children the game can be more of a contest — with participants competing to be the person to find the next letter. However, make sure the competition stays friendly. Stay alert for signs of hurt feelings or inappropriate aggressiveness that will harm the happiness of any of the participants.

Vehicle Color Game
Everyone in the car looks for any kind of vehicle in a particular color. For example, we picked red and found over 100 red vehicles in less than an hour.

     For older children, you can add criteria, like searching for red SUVs, Bugs, or pickup trucks.

Scavenger Hunt
Before you leave, prepare a list of things for each child to look for. The first one done gets a prize.

     You can create separate lists if your children are of different ages and, for example, have a 5-year old looking for things like barns and a 14-year old looking for things like a person wearing blue pants.

Activity Tray
Before leaving on the trip lightly sand and then spray a metal child-size lap tray with two coats of chalk paint and pack a small baggie or box with colored chalk and an eraser. On a long trip you can, then, use the tray for a number of activities: Children can play hangman or tic-tac-toe.

• Children can draw pictures with chalk and lay out a racecar track to run their hot wheels cars over.
• Glue little round magnets to small rubber animals so they will stay nicely on the tray and let the children make a zoo.
• Glue paper dolls to magnet sheets and your little girl will love changing her dolls’ clothes over and over.
• Buy some cheap, magnetic letters and let your child practice making words, or if the child is older, let him make funny phrases.
• The kids can use the activity tray as a table on which they can play games like cards or dominoes.
• The activity tray can be used as a seat divider to settle space issues peacefully.

Make a Word
See how many words a child can create using only the letters found in a long word like Disneyland or Mickey Mouse.

Vinyl Clings
Let your kids play with vinyl clings on their side windows. I know this will make lots of fingerprints, but car windows can easily be washed.

Stories on Tape
Either record your child’s favorite stories or check out some from the library.

Memory Cards
You can save money by using recipe cards cut in half. Using two sets of identical stickers, place one sticker on each card.

     Make sure you have at least six sets of two each. For older kids, increase the number of sets.

     When my children were younger, I would keep a set of these in my purse to use while waiting in restaurants.

“I’m thinking of a Number” (or “Color,” “Dessert,” or “Animal”)

The winner of this guessing game gets to pick the next category.

Develop a System to Praise and to Reward
I’ve never found a better way to enforce discipline on children than by a system I’ve set up for my kids called Reward or Privilege, which is just my implementation of the old “Carrot and Stick” philosophy. Here’s how you can implement such a system yourself.

Before leaving on a trip, divide the total approximate length of time the driving itself will take into smaller increments. I usually make these come out to approximately two hour increments, but you will need to adjust your time according to the age of your children.

Set the travel rules very specifically at the beginning of the trip. My rules include these six, which I review often enough that the children have memorized them:

• No crying
• No arguing
• No tattling
• No fighting
• Share
• Stay awake to play

At the end of each period hand out a reward or privilege to each child depending upon the child’s behavior during that period. If you do this correctly and fairly, I guarantee that your children will watch the clock very closely and it will seem to them like the time just flies by. If a serious problem occurs during this time, just deal with it and then start the clock over.

Rewards
I pack some rewards to hand out after each period of time, including:

• A small piece of candy or gum (which, by the way, you can also use to help relieve ear pressure over mountain ranges)
• New books (library books will work also)
• Music
• Hand held games
• Small craft kits
• A Glowstick

Remember that these gifts do not have to be expensive, just thoughtful.

If you have small children under 8, your rewards can cost you almost nothing. Buy a roll of little animal stickers and give a sticker as a reward. It is amazing how much a child will treasure any reward, no matter how small the intrinsic worth.

Privileges
I also dispense privileges to children who have been well-behaved, including the following:

• The child gets to select the music for the whole car for the next 15 minutes. (Sometimes this can seem like an eternity!)
• The child gets to select which restaurant to eat at.
• The child may stay up 30 minutes longer that night.

Don’t tell your children which reward or privilege they are playing for; keep it a surprise. That way you can adjust the reward to suit your needs and the situation. For example, don’t give your child a book for a reward when it is dark outside and they can’t see to read it.

Start Before You Leave
Get your children involved in packing. There are a few helpful steps you can take to help them that will make them feel grown-up and involved as participants in their own lives:

• Write a list of clothes they will need and ask them to pick them out and put them on their bed.
• Look at their selections, and if all is okay, let them help you put the clothes in the suitcase. (I find that they are not quite as wrinkled when I help with this step.) By involving them in the decision-making, you are less likely to have clothing issues later.
• Let your child pack one backpack with toys, stuffed animals, books, and games. They will keep this pack with them when they are in the back seat. I remind them to leave enough room in case they buy souvenirs or earn rewards. They also need to be able to carry it to their room. Make them keep all items inside the bag when they are not using them. This helps eliminate lost toys and messy back seats.

A Pillow to Soothe the Trip
Have them each pack a travel pillow. These are inexpensive, small, and very handy. To keep the pillows clean you can purchase travel size pillowcases, but if you have time make the pillowcases yourself. I let my children each pick two coordinating fabrics.

Older children can operate the sewing machine and make these, but only under constant adult supervision. Here are the directions for making these:

• Buy one-half yard of material for each pillowcase and one-quarter yard for the edge of each pillowcase.
• From the half yard piece, cut one rectangle 18 inches by 33 inches.
• From the quarter-yard piece, cut one rectangle eight inches by 33 inches and fold it in half lengthwise.
• With the fabric facing up and raw edges together sew pillowcase edge to pillowcase along the top.
• Press seams toward bottom of the case. You will now have one piece.
• Fold the piece in half widthwise with right sides together. The fold will be on one side; the opening of the pillow on another.
• Sew the other two sides together completing your pillowcase.

Now there should be no argument as to whose pillow is whose. You will find these so comfy and your children so well behaved you may need to make one for yourself too.

Don’t Leave Home Without These Things Either
There are some things you should always have with you when traveling with children. I hope you don’t ever need these things, but don’t leave home without them.

• Current pictures of your kids
  Every parent knows how difficult it is to think when your child has gotten separated from you. Remember a picture is worth a thousand words and it may make a huge difference in finding your child faster.
• Emergency and insurance cards
• Doctor’s phone numbers
• First aid kit
• Antibacterial hand wipes
• Extra set of keys
• Jumper cables
• Credit card and money
• Car seat, if needed
• Kleenex
• Water
• Maps
• Umbrella
• Sunscreen
• Snacks
• Tylenol (in case my suggestions don’t work)
• Sunglasses
• Camera and Film
• Flashlight
• Fire extinguisher
• Cell phone and charger
• Trash container
• Tickets and addresses to where you are going

Perhaps the most important thing to carry with you is a big supply of patience. Remember getting there is supposed to be half the fun.

I have suggested some ideas to keep your children happy and keep you sane during a long trip in the car. Our trip to Disneyland was great! We had very few problems!

I can tell you from experience that a little thoughtful preparation helped us all to get along and to enjoy this wonderful family time together.